Tenterhooks

sometimes i think
about hanging
swinging from a rope or
something easier like
a leather belt
and a doorknob
and really leaning in

sometimes i think
about drowning
about being the girl
who walks into the water
with rocks in her pockets
because wouldn’t that
be easier for everyone
maybe almost beautiful

sometimes i think
about car accidents
fires
shootings
or the sweet bliss of
a terminal cancer diagnosis

or maybe just
one fucking good reason
besides being a mother
to stay alive

i wait on tenterhooks
and when they say
it gets better
when they say hang on
because they don’t see
these hooks in my back
holding me up
i must turn away and
tune them out
because
how can you not see
these hooks in my back

how can you not see
that hanging on is
the strongest
bravest
most selfless thing
i have ever done

2 thoughts on “Tenterhooks”

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