I’ve been prolific lately

I hate to admit it, but I smoked cigarettes for thirteen years before finally quitting cold turkey about three and a half years ago.

I don’t half-ass things.

When I decide to do something, I go all in.

If I decide I want to quit smoking, I just do it. If I decide I want to write a book in a month, I just do it.

Twenty-three days ago, I decided I wanted to write a poem every day – not every day for a month, not every day for a year – just, every day.

I want to write a poem every day, because writer’s write, and I fancied myself a poet before anything else I ever aspired to be, so I’m here now, thirty fucking five, and doing it.

There’s a power in deciding to do something and following through with it.

I have lists of things to write every day:

  • 1,000 words
  • WordPress post
  • Medium article
  • poem a day

and as I am crossing these things off my list, I’m doing even more than I’m asking of myself, because I want to.

Because I love writing.

I’ve been prolific lately, and now all I want is to stay prolific, to keep creating at this pace until what I love becomes what I am becomes what I do.

You know what I mean?

 

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Plodding On

Photo by Giulia Porrini on Unsplash

As I’m sure I’ve said a few times before, I have been writing a poem every day over on Medium, trying to break into that platform’s incredible cadre of poets, adding things to publications when I can, thinking about starting one myself – but for some reason I don’t feel like that is the place to come and ramble so much as I feel this is, the home on WordPress, the place that I’ve been coming to for years and opening up a blank box to spill words on pages and hope, hope, hope someone will read them.

Maybe I should have been better at doing this from the beginning – documenting my writing process, being open and honest about how hard it is sometimes, how more often than not the words don’t come easy.

They are choked out, vomited up from my fingers into paragraphs that may or may not be worth keeping. It’s always hard for me to tell.

But this month, while everyone else is focusing on their Poem a Day for April or the A-Z post challenge that I’ve tried and failed at finishing too many times to count, I’ve been writing the first draft of a new book.

It’s Camp NaNoWriMo time again, and this time I dove into it with some friends, and every Sunday now I come to this beautiful bookstore and write with them for most hours of the afternoon and evening.

I’m really plowing through it this time.

Since the end of week one, I have been on target or above my target every day, and I am not planning on letting up any time soon.

That’s because I plan to keep writing, no matter what, until it’s finished.

I’m tired of leaving half-finished manuscripts dead on my hard drive.

I’m tired of telling myself that none of them are good enough to go for a second draft.

I am determined now, no matter what, to figure out how to make this novel work.

I’m not sure how I’m going to accomplish this.

I don’t have an outline – on purpose, of course – but I also don’t even have a general idea of where I want the story to end up. It’s an open-ended story of a small town with a nasty problem of some alien abductions going on.

There’s a lot to work with – maybe too much.

So, I’ll come here to ramble, because even though I’ve finished my words for the day, my fingers still feel the need to keep on typing, as they have done lately, which I love more than I can possibly say.

What are you working on right now? How’s it going for you?

Photo by Giulia Porrini on Unsplash

Words, These Days

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Commit to loving yourself completely. It’s the most radical thing you will do in your lifetime.
—  Andrea Gibson

So here’s the story, for anyone who’s keeping track.

About a month ago I freaked out and thought to myself that I could never grow the guts and gumption to write under my own name on the internet. I’m just too scared of everything. It would never work.

I spent days creating an alias, a new website for the alias, social profiles, et cetera.

How embarrassing.

Want to know why?

Because as soon as I had posted a few things under that other name and gotten good feedback I was pissed that it wasn’t ME that was getting the good feedback.

So then I was like, fuck this, and decided that I am a strong, warrior writer woman and I will do and say what I want.

Except for maybe some things about my family while they’re still alive, I haven’t decided that yet.

For the last nineteen days (and counting) I have been posting a poem a day on Medium and it has been a wonderful exercise for me.

I have to come back here to participate in linkups like Yeah Write because their linkys hate Medium links.

I’ve also been participating in Camp NaNoWriMo and I’m caught up for the month.

I’ve been writing the shit of out of these words, all these words, thousands and thousands of them and I can’t stop – and I am so glad I picked the right place (the right person) to do it.

 

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash