Plodding On

Photo by Giulia Porrini on Unsplash

As I’m sure I’ve said a few times before, I have been writing a poem every day over on Medium, trying to break into that platform’s incredible cadre of poets, adding things to publications when I can, thinking about starting one myself – but for some reason I don’t feel like that is the place to come and ramble so much as I feel this is, the home on WordPress, the place that I’ve been coming to for years and opening up a blank box to spill words on pages and hope, hope, hope someone will read them.

Maybe I should have been better at doing this from the beginning – documenting my writing process, being open and honest about how hard it is sometimes, how more often than not the words don’t come easy.

They are choked out, vomited up from my fingers into paragraphs that may or may not be worth keeping. It’s always hard for me to tell.

But this month, while everyone else is focusing on their Poem a Day for April or the A-Z post challenge that I’ve tried and failed at finishing too many times to count, I’ve been writing the first draft of a new book.

It’s Camp NaNoWriMo time again, and this time I dove into it with some friends, and every Sunday now I come to this beautiful bookstore and write with them for most hours of the afternoon and evening.

I’m really plowing through it this time.

Since the end of week one, I have been on target or above my target every day, and I am not planning on letting up any time soon.

That’s because I plan to keep writing, no matter what, until it’s finished.

I’m tired of leaving half-finished manuscripts dead on my hard drive.

I’m tired of telling myself that none of them are good enough to go for a second draft.

I am determined now, no matter what, to figure out how to make this novel work.

I’m not sure how I’m going to accomplish this.

I don’t have an outline – on purpose, of course – but I also don’t even have a general idea of where I want the story to end up. It’s an open-ended story of a small town with a nasty problem of some alien abductions going on.

There’s a lot to work with – maybe too much.

So, I’ll come here to ramble, because even though I’ve finished my words for the day, my fingers still feel the need to keep on typing, as they have done lately, which I love more than I can possibly say.

What are you working on right now? How’s it going for you?

Photo by Giulia Porrini on Unsplash
Advertisements

Words, These Days

neonbrand-570373-unsplash

Commit to loving yourself completely. It’s the most radical thing you will do in your lifetime.
—  Andrea Gibson

So here’s the story, for anyone who’s keeping track.

About a month ago I freaked out and thought to myself that I could never grow the guts and gumption to write under my own name on the internet. I’m just too scared of everything. It would never work.

I spent days creating an alias, a new website for the alias, social profiles, et cetera.

How embarrassing.

Want to know why?

Because as soon as I had posted a few things under that other name and gotten good feedback I was pissed that it wasn’t ME that was getting the good feedback.

So then I was like, fuck this, and decided that I am a strong, warrior writer woman and I will do and say what I want.

Except for maybe some things about my family while they’re still alive, I haven’t decided that yet.

For the last nineteen days (and counting) I have been posting a poem a day on Medium and it has been a wonderful exercise for me.

I have to come back here to participate in linkups like Yeah Write because their linkys hate Medium links.

I’ve also been participating in Camp NaNoWriMo and I’m caught up for the month.

I’ve been writing the shit of out of these words, all these words, thousands and thousands of them and I can’t stop – and I am so glad I picked the right place (the right person) to do it.

 

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

creature features

You may be surprised,
but creature features are my
favorite movies.

+++

I’m okay with this post a day blog turning into a series of haikus.

I love haikus.

I love their immediacy and seeing how much can fit into seventeen syllables.

But, like I do, I’m thinking about starting another blog… again.

 

Cheers to Reboots

So, I’ve come home for a while.

Last night was my first night sleeping back in my old high school bedroom, tonight is the first night Elise is spending here, and so tomorrow morning is when we wake up and start our lives over again.

That’s what it feels like to me, anyway.

All moves involve some level of change and transformation, but this feels more significant because the only way I am getting out of here is by succeeding at what I want to do – make a living writing – and I haven’t quite figured out how to do that yet.

I am fortunate to have this respite, I am even more fortunate to know that it’s temporary, and hopefully, within six months or less I’ll be moving in with a friend (actually, a friend’s mom), and knowing that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel here makes it much easier to bear.

This is my reboot and a second chance.

I have to admit, for the first time today, when I woke up this morning it wasn’t dread for the future that was dominating my mind.

Not everyone gets second chances, or third chances, or fourth chances.

So far, I’m one of the lucky ones.

Tardy

This is an apt prompt, a day late because of moving and utter exhaustion, and not knowing exactly where my laptop or mind was.

Tardy is such a strange, silly word for being late.

I remember hearing the word used by uptight elementary school teachers, and remember giggling because tardy sounded like tard, and back then people threw the word ‘retarded’ around as an insult a lot more than they do today.

Let the record show that I was a day late and a dollar short for this post, but still not giving up.