Everything

I hate to ask for promises,
I know they are
so hard to keep.

Yet I’m willing to make
a million for you.
I want to promise you
myself, an us,
an everythingship.

I want to give you everything
you haven’t yet given me
and more and more and more.

I want to give you
everything you need and
everything you want and
I promise
I’ll never stop trying.

10/365 – A Poem a Day For a Year

A Conviction

You always hold me tight
in your gazes and
in your arms
and when you take
my face in your hands
and say I love you,
I believe you.

But not so much
as in those quiet moments
when we stare at each other
and don’t need to speak,
those silences
I’m so comfortable in,
because in your eyes I believe you.

We don’t need
as many words
to express it anymore, and
as we’ve noticed,
words aren’t enough anyway.
They don’t hold as much weight
as your stares and
your hands on me, because
when you touch me I believe you.

I believe you.

9/365 – A Poem a Day For a Year

This Body Right Now

I don’t notice the space
my body takes
until I look down,
down to the
mounds of my breasts
and hills of
my stomach and
lean over to see my feet
and wonder:
how does anyone love this?

But I love this.
I love this body,
I love this
rather perfect skin i’m in.
I love each limb
and the way they move,
and my freckles and
the way my hair falls.

I love laying down
and snapping photos
of this naked body
and sharing them
to love and praise –
and I don’t care
how many
eyebrows I raise.

I don’t want to hide anymore,
don’t want to keep
myself locked inside anymore,
don’t want to apologize anymore,
don’t want to wake up
hating the reflection anymore.

Years of hate have
taken their toll,
I see the scars in every
dip and roll and wrinkle but
there are still stars in my eyes
and a smile that comes
out to play every day,
so, okay.

I’ll keep looking down.
I’ll keep looking…

6/365 – A Poem a Day For a Year

Too Much, Not Enough

I miss, you know
in the way that
I always want to be with you
or at least
be with you more,
spend more days together,
definitely more nights.

I miss you in this
gentle, quiet way.
Not desperately, not
so much that I will
whine and beg for you, but
there’s a girl inside my heart
who would beg for you,
and I’ve always
been scared of her.

I’ve always been scared
to be that small, needy girl
who’s always asking
for too much time,
too many kisses,
too much love.
I’ve always been
too much or not enough.

And even now,
when I finally have
a love I can believe in,
I worry:
Is this too much,
or not enough?

Maybe it’s
quality over quantity –
that’s what I tell myself.
They may be brief,
but our days are filled
with an amazing love
and how could that
be too much?
How could it not
be enough?

5/365 – A Poem a Day For a Year