Why I’m Afraid to Get a Job

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I have had terrible, horrible, no good very bad luck with bosses for my entire life.

I’ve had bosses who have harassed me, bosses who have shamed me, bosses who have gone out of their way to personally make my life miserable… and I just don’t think I can take that anymore.

When I left the workforce to try my hand at freelance designing and writing back in the fall of 2016, I made a promise to myself that I intend to keep:

I will no longer eat shit from assholes.

I will no longer tolerate bad bosses in my life, and I’m afraid that is going to make it hard to be happy in any job I take because you never know going into things what kind of boss you are really going to get.

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Getting Out of My Own Way

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For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a writer.

I am a writer, technically.

I write every day, whether it be only a journal entry, a Medium article, a bit of flash fiction or some work on a novel, I am always writing.

But I’ve never gotten close to the point where writing is my vocation and not just my passion.

I feel like I am constantly being pulled into two directions — toward the writing that I want to make a living out of, and the other jobs that actually help me make a living.

Now, I am at a crossroads…

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You Can Be Private or Popular

Photo by Ian Keefe on Unsplash

For years I have done crazy, backward things like hiding my writing away behind fake names or scrapping entire websites when I get feedback that makes me nervous.

You know, like comments from people I know.

For some reason, I’ve always been afraid to share my writing with people I know “in real life” because I’ve been afraid they will judge me for what I have to say…

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