Words, These Days


Commit to loving yourself completely. It’s the most radical thing you will do in your lifetime.
—  Andrea Gibson

So here’s the story, for anyone who’s keeping track.

About a month ago I freaked out and thought to myself that I could never grow the guts and gumption to write under my own name on the internet. I’m just too scared of everything. It would never work.

I spent days creating an alias, a new website for the alias, social profiles, et cetera.

How embarrassing.

Want to know why?

Because as soon as I had posted a few things under that other name and gotten good feedback I was pissed that it wasn’t ME that was getting the good feedback.

So then I was like, fuck this, and decided that I am a strong, warrior writer woman and I will do and say what I want.

Except for maybe some things about my family while they’re still alive, I haven’t decided that yet.

For the last nineteen days (and counting) I have been posting a poem a day on Medium and it has been a wonderful exercise for me.

I have to come back here to participate in linkups like Yeah Write because their linkys hate Medium links.

I’ve also been participating in Camp NaNoWriMo and I’m caught up for the month.

I’ve been writing the shit of out of these words, all these words, thousands and thousands of them and I can’t stop – and I am so glad I picked the right place (the right person) to do it.


Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

Lately on Medium

I should really set myself a schedule of when to update here what I have been writing over there, but I’ve been posting pretty much daily over there just like I’ve been over here and wouldn’t I be a bad blog friend if I didn’t promote my shit everywhere?

In reverse chronological order:

When He Asks How Long I’ve Loved Him – which is actually something I wrote years and years ago about a man I haven’t seen in almost ten years now, but I suppose it’s worth a read if you want to get me a little more than you ever did before.

Oh, December, Here We Go – in which I talk about goals for the month

I keep finding more words for Love – which is a poem I never thought I’d write all these years later, but I haven’t gotten laid in a long time so I guess my mind keeps gravitating to the sex I USED to have and the people I used to have it with.

“Had I really succeeded in anything else” in which I ruminate even more, as I often do, about why I feel like an unemployable failure but also channel JK Rowling’s hopes and dreams and determination to let rock bottom bring her back up again

Sleep is Not for the Weak – in which I talk about how I keep nodding off like an old lady, and also depression

and finally,

A little story about depression and sleep and how they go so great together. a locked story for Medium members (though non-members can read 3 free stories a month) in which I talk again, even more, about how depression affects my sleep, and how I’ve been feeling about some things in general.

I’ve been writing in two places every day for a week and have felt better about myself than I have in ages even though I’ve also felt worse than I have in ages. I am not really sure how to reconcile that at the moment, but I am going to keep on typing, because when I do, everything else drifts away.

Want to help me make a living writing? Or maybe just buy me a cup of coffee? That would be sweet. Thanks for reading, always.

On Medium This Week (so far)

Here’s what I wrote on Medium when I wasn’t here:

This is the Beginning of Writing About Me

– wherein I state for probably the hundredth time online that yes, I am indeed ready to write about my life on the internet, even though the thought of it still makes me feel pukey.

It’s the Freelance Life for Me

– wherein I write about how I’m never going to have a boss again, even though I am not sure how exactly I am going to accomplish that, yet.

Burn Me

– a sexy little Haiku I submitted to a new publication of Haiku poets that was gracious enough to accept me to their ranks.

I’m all over the place these days, but if I remember, I am going to post my Medium links here so throughout the week so it kind of sort of maybe feels like I am real blogger somewhere. 

If you’re kind enough to take a gander and click, please be sure to give me some claps on the article, or share them on social media if you enjoyed them!

Another Month of NaNo Mos

It’s the first of November, so here I am back on WordPress again to take part in the NaBloPoMo challenge that I’ve done every year on one of my blogs since forever.

I’m also doing NaNoWriMo, AND I am currently in the middle of two web design jobs that are cramping my month of November writing style, but I can’t really complain (much) because they’re paying the bills, finally.

Oh, it’s wonderful to be able to pay my bills, it’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do that with any regularity.

So I’m all over the place this month, I’m all over the place in general, and I am definitely all over the place on this world wide web of ours.

I’ve been trying to write more on Medium lately because it seems like a great new place for writers to build a following, or platform as they call it. Plus, it comes with the added benefit of potentially being able to make a little money.

It sounds silly, because it is, but I actually got a notification today that I will be getting my first payout from Medium this week – a payout based on two “claps” on one of my poems. What did I get in total? $0.04.

Yup. Four cents.

But who the hell cares, because hey, I’m making money writing!

And, because the world is strange and it needs to keep reminding me of that fact, I made my first Etsy sale today – a sale that I consider completely passive because I hardly remember making the art prints I randomly put up there for sale one day.

I made $3.00!

So yeah, I am making smaaaaall amounts of money, but who cares about the numbers right from the start?

I am finally, inch by inch, slowly but surely, figuring out ways to make money doing the stuff I love doing, or at least tolerate well enough, for myself.

For myself!

That’s totally priceless.